The Buddhist views on marriage are very liberal. In Buddhism, marriage is considered as personal and individual concern, and not as a religious duty. Buddhism does not compel a person to be married. It does not force somebody to remain as a bachelor. Neither it wants one to lead a life of total chastity. It is not laid down anywhere that Buddhists must produce children or regulate the number of children that they produce. Buddhism allows each individual the freedom to decide for himself all the issues pertaining to marriage. It might be asked why Buddhist monks do not marry, since there are no laws for or against marriage. The reason is obviously that to be of service to mankind, the monks have chosen a way of life which includes celibacy.
Marriage Through The Ages :
Buddhist marriages have been considered as secular matters in Buddhist countries. The parties took a blessing from monks at the local temple after the civil registration formalities have been completed. Although Buddhist monks do not solemnize a marriage ceremony, they do perform religious services in order to bless the couples. From the Buddhist point of view, marriage is neither holy nor unholy. Buddhism does not regard marriage as a religious duty nor as a sacrament that is ordained in heaven.
Match Making :
The matchmaking is usually done by taking the boy and the girl in confidence. It could be by the parents of either side or by the eligible boy himself. When the boy finds a suitable girl for him, he would usually send a family friend to the girl's house. The friend would generally carry a wine bottle or any other alcohol bottle for that matter. Additionally he carries a white silk scarf - khada. His role is to see whether the girl's family show any inclination towards the proposal.
Costumes :
- Bridal Wear :
The Buddhist bride has this dress made of brocade called Bhaku. The dress resembles a sarong, only it has to be full length. The bride wears it with a sleeved blouse, Hanju. The hanju is usually made of Chinese silk called khichen. She also wears aspecial coat and a scarf. Some unusual jewellery (Khau) is also worn by her, those made of large precious and semi-precious stones for example turquoise, coral, pearl, etc. These jewellery would be worn around the neck and also on the forehead by traditional family girls. She would wear heavy gold bracelets in her arms too. The jewellery is mostly in pure gold or gold plated. The brides also wore special shoes and hat in the earlier days but this is not in fashion these days.
- Groom's Attire :
A Buddhist groom also wears a Bhaku, one that is with sleeves. The bhaku reaches to just above the ankles. The bhaku looks beautiful as it is made of brocade and is worn with a waistcoat called Lajha. The boy would also wear a cap, also made of brocade and a sash around the waist.
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